Wednesday, August 27, 2014

To Rest or Watch Netflix? That is the Question

Dear Ann Abler,
I am sick. Should I rest or just watch more Netflix?

Dear Keith,

Ah…you ask a question of the ages. Until they find a way to stream Netflix into our subconscious, we will be dealing with this dilemma. 

Some would say that this is a simple answer and that you should rest if you are sick. However, Netflix has natural healing powers that take effect around the same time you discover Freaks and Geeks or Louie.

Going on a #NetflixBinge can be a slippery slope to more #NetflixBinge. However, if you thinkyou winkyou do a double blinkyou close your eyes, and JUMP…oh wait, that’s how you get into a magic painting with Mary Poppins (also on Netflix). Well, maybe we should look to our favorite films or series to help us arrive at an answer we like. What would Walter White do? Something he liked…and was good at, I bet. What would they do in Portlandia? Put. A. Bird. On. it. And Dexter? Let’s just stop there, this doesn’t seem to be helping.

I assume you don’t have children because you mentioned “rest” as one of your options. Resting is a critical component to recuperation, but laughter is the best medicine, so I am going to recommend a regimen of five parts Netflix to one part rest for a majority of the day, and then go to sleep at some point, I suppose. Alternating between screen-staring and sleep in a gloriously uncommitted state is one of the best things, I’m guessing, for your well-being. 

photo via

A few years back I was sick for four days and managed to watch the first two seasons of Arrested Development. I expect no less from you. I credit my full recovery to Tobias Funke. If for some reason you have not yet seen that show, consider it doctor’s orders, and then consider me a doctor. But not the kind of doctor you can sue when things don’t go well.
You should also post really pathetic pictures of yourself on Facebook (maybe with a thermometer and old-timey ice pack on your head) until you successfully guilt one of your friends into bringing you a hot tottie or some tom yum. If you don’t have friends, you can always YouTube some old Friends episodes, and order something from Eat24, who is not paying me to say this, but should definitely give me an extra special coupon code.

Get well soon,

Your Ann Abler

p.s. I haven’t see the Increasingly Poor Decisions of ToddMargaret, but it has David Cross, so it can’t be bad.

p.p.s. Let’s ask the audience: What show must Keith see? Tell us your favorites in the Comments section, or share via Facebook or Twitter.

No comments :

Post a Comment