Sunday, July 13, 2014

The 'Help a Child Mourn the Death of a Fish' Caption Contest

Add your caption, tag @DearAnnAbler
Dear Ann Abler,

We came home from a weekend away to find this:
Any thoughts on how to tell our daughter it’s not just playing hide and seek? How would you recommend parents deal with the death of a pet?
Gone Fishin’

Dear Gone Fishin’,

Fish – or practice pets, as I like to call them – tend to die. They often die for any old reason, like not getting fed or living in their own filth. I’m guessing fish are about as excited to be hanging out in tanks as your kid is to have a fish instead of a dog. Still, whether your fishy friend found his final fate by trying to put himself out of his misery or by accident, he is gone, and it is time to mourn the loss.

This may be an excellent opportunity to teach your child about the Circle of Life, or at least sing that song, and maybe watch The Lion King. Maybe this is more of a Hakuna Matata situation. Only you can decide which Disney song or movie is most appropriate to honor the memory of the recently departed Mr. Fish.

I happen to be an expert eulogizer, which is maybe a real word and is maybe why you wrote to me. I think what people really need at a dead fish memorial service is to hear great stories about that fish, and also to participate in a caption contest. Please explain your intriguing idea further, you are probably saying to yourself right now. Okay I will. Laughter is the best medicine, and penicillin is a close second. But since penicillin won’t make you feel better about your dead fish, let’s stick with laughter. 
I would like to call on the Dear Ann Abler community (which consists mostly of my mom and mother in law) to help your family get through this difficult-ish time by contributing their caption for your dead fish photo.

Image from
So please, community, share your caption in the comments section below, via Twitter (tagging @DearAnnAbler), or on Dear Ann Abler’sFacebook page. Puns are not only encouraged, but rewarded. You can like or retweet the ones you find funny, and that’s how we’ll pick a winner. Winner will walk away with bragging rights, the fish photo with your caption, and my favorite fish recipes.
Here are a few to get you started:
  • Red fish, blue fish, nose fish dead fish
  • A Million Ways to Die in the West Nostril
  • Losing Nemo 
Ready, set, help a family heal through laughter! 
Hope that helps, Gone Fishin'.

~Your Ann Abler


  1. Something smells fishy...

  2. A fish called Gone. Duh.

  3. Danya-son: use chopstick. Take feesh out Miyagi nose.

    1. Daniel-san, karate in here *points to heart*, never in here *points to nose*

  4. Shannon I love your blog you're a super writer

    1. Thanks, Avi! I'm a super fan of compliments. :)

  5. Rejected cover art for Sartre's "No Exit"

  6. Replies
    1. Aw man, you really need to see an ear, nosefish, and throat doctor!
      (Btw, did you know there's a fish called the Longnose Sucker? I've learned a lot about fish names during this time...)