Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Tortured Artist

Dear Ann,
My toddler has started painting and I’m convinced she’s an artistic genius. Ok, I know she’s probably just average, but even as I write this, a little voice in my head says, NO SHE’S REALLY TALENTED. I have this aching desire to share her work on Facebook. Stop me, please. I’d like to keep some friends that don’t have kids.

-Bragging Rights for Artistic Genius

Dear BRAG,

Your dear Ann Abler respects your restraint, but I can also show you how to override it. Now, I will agree with you that your child is without a doubt a genius—as is true of all children of my must-be-genius readers. I understand your desire to share her flair. Why should your childless friends get to share snapshots of countless cocktails and wide-eyed cats without a smidge of remorse? Get over the momguilt, and get in on the over-sharing action as well! 

I have a solution to satisfy your desire to upload these masterpieces while still maintaining - if only on social media - a shred of your pre-baby intrigue. Just say YOU did them. How fabulous! While your perfect genius child naps, you are perfectly finding the time and energy to dabble in abstract expressionism. I applaud you. Let the likes roll in! If any of your adoring friends/fans comment asking about your inspiration, let your toddler do the typing. I was inspired by “ndasjkbjka.” How exotic and intellectual you look! This toddler, she’s good for something besides leaving hummus handprints on the couch.

Now, say 3 hail mommies and buy some high quality paper for your artist to work on. It’s more believable that you did it that way. 

No comments :

Post a Comment