Saturday, April 26, 2014

Mommy blogger stat lover

Dear Ann Abler,

Like many moms out there I have a blog. Unfortunately, I check stats on blogspot more than I put out new posts. It’s just so satisfying to see a new country on the world map turn that pretty shade of tea green. It’s a calming color and also makes me feel like an important world leader. When I’m not checking stats, I go on Twitter and tweet links to the three posts I’ve written so far. I’m thinking of having my 4 year old write my next post. Am I on the right track?

Derailed mommyblogger

Dear Derailed,

While it may feel muy bien when you see someone in Bolivia reading your blog, it’s no bueno to get caught in a cycle that silences your creative voice. You might want to shove me in the shallow water before I get too deep* (*Shout out to Edie Brickel). 

Now that I think about it, you might be on to something…maybe you’ve discovered that your true passion is watching countries light up on a map like they are game show contestants buzzing in. Perhaps you picture world leaders hovering their hands over the buzzer saying, “no whammies, no whammies, stop”. Wasn’t Press Your Luck a great gameshow? But I digress. 

Back to expert advice giving, you should make the map your end goal, and not rest until each country is colored with tea green. Why not start tweeting the link to your blog and add a hashtag for every nation? Something like, “Hey there #India, #checkitout”. Or “Gente of #Guatemala, #mommyproblems, riiiight? <linktoyourblog> ”. Show them you are totally down with their country by showing your cultural fluency. “Bon jour people of #France: #scarves #butter #escargo #voila #French #fries <linktoyourblog> #oolala

Now, say two hail mommies, and refresh your page. Most importantly be sure to give a #shoutout to @dearannabler.

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