Kiddy Claws

Dear Ann Abler,

I really avoid cutting my toddler's fingernails because he fights me at every step. Right now his little pinky nail gives the impression he is a cocaine addict. That's bad right?

- Nail Biter in Nevada 

Dear Nail Biter,

What's bad is that YOU could get scratched by your little monster's kiddy claws, so unfortunately, my patented avoidance techniques will not work this time. Go see if you have any fine or medium-grained sandpaper laying around and let him crawl around on all fours on it. If you're in a hurry, tell him there's a treasure under there. If you have a dog, feel free to re-purpose this suggestion with fluffy, and kill two birds with one stone - or "feed two birds with one seed," as my hippie friend likes to say. 

Say two hail mommies and give yourself double points! Then, just sit back, relax, and wait for your visit from Child Services.

Ciao.