Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Do I Really Have to Shower Every Day?

Dear Ann Abler,
Just hope you don't run into this lady.

Do I have to take a shower every day? Especially after going in the pool it just seems like overkill, and I’m tired of washing towels. I?

Dirty Diana

Dirty Diana,


I hope you knew when you came to your Dear Ann Abler with this question that you would get the answer you needed. The answer you deserve. A shower every single day? Overrated. I am on board with you when it comes to the pool. All the getting wet and drying off can be exhausting. There is such a thing as pool-clean. As long as you got most of your dirty on you before the pool, then you’re in the clear. So if your significant other asks if you’ve already taken your shower, you can assure him you’re pool-clean. It’s best for the team if he also believes this is a thing.

Secondly (even though there wasn’t a firstly), laundry is the enemy, and we must maintain a united front against it. We only engage in battle with laundry when there is no other recourse. Or clean underwear.

Thirdly, we are in the middle of a drought and you are doing your part to conserve water – both by not showering and by not washing extra towels. You’re really a great person, and should get yourself a hemp T-shirt that says something on it about how you reduce, reuse, and recycle. I would also recommend drinking beer instead of water when given the option. This drought is serious stuff and it might not be a bad idea to switch to an alcohol-based diet as soon as possible.

So yeah, don't shower as much. To save the earth. If your friends start standing further away from you than usual due to your beer breath and general stankiness, don't worry about it. Enjoy the extra personal space.

Your Ann Abler

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