Snack Envy

Dear Ann,

When did playdates get so fancy? I have fun with my playdate group, but lately it has become less about tiring the kiddos out and more about showing off a pinterest level snack buffet. Organic homemade health muffins? Strawberries cut into bunnies? What happened to just bringing some crackers, sometimes?

-Sad Bag of Snacks

Dear Sad Bag,

I have no idea how this happened, but can I be invited, like right now? I’m hungry and all I have in the house is old tortillas and dead lettuce. Keep attending these playdates and eat all the delicious food. Enjoy it. Take some home. Stuff it in your son’s pockets so it looks like he’s the culprit. Serve it to your husband and say you made it. See how long you can get away with it before they notice. When it’s finally your turn to host a playdate, drop a hunny at Whole Foods and dump everything onto your cutest plates and say you made it all. 

Don’t be jealous of their snacks. Remember, you’re the pretty one.

Ciao.

PS. Old tortillas microwaved + dead lettuce + string cheese is kind of a yummy taco, if you are tired/lazy/reallytired enough.