Sunday, May 4, 2014

iLove my iChild

This one comes via tweet from @martinisandmini

So letting my kids watch "Appisodes" on the iPad isn't the same as watching TV, right? Totally different parts of the brain, right????
- Martinis

Dear Martinis,

You ARE right! Totally different. The iPad trains the part of the brain that controls the swiping and selecting finger, while the TV develops the consumer section of the cortex, which teaches them to covet cheap shiny things from China. It’s important to remember that today’s iChild requires multiple sources of screen time to sharpen those skills of tomorrow. If we’re concerned about kids’ attention spans, we can take comfort in the fact that in the near future, human thoughts will consist mostly of 144 characters or less. Reducing a child’s attention span to that of a gnat will place him right on par with his peers. 

Luckily, some of the content targeted at our tots contains characters with British accents. As you may know, the British accent triggers a release of bonus points into the brain*. (*The brain works on an intricate point system, similar to Weight Watchers). You’ve got your Peppa Pig, your Mary Poppins, and Pocoyo (translated to British English and not ‘Merican English), all helping to pump up our kids' brain power. So, while your child may not get into Harvard, he will have the advantage of a British accent, which automatically qualifies him as an authoritative voice on everything. 

A study conducted on 0-3 year olds by pediatricians from the Cohen Children's Medical Center of New York had the following findings:

The study showed there was no significant difference in testing scores between children who used touch-screen devices and children without the same exposure to touch-screen devices. However, results indicated that children who play non-educational games (ie. Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, etc.) have a lower verbal score on developmental tests.

Yes, BUT, how did each group of toddlers fare when fruit was thrown at their heads? Aha! Didn’t think of that one, did they? Skills of tomorrow, I say! Skills of tomorrow!
As Ilana Wiles (@Mommyshorts) has demonstrated in what I assume is a peer-reviewed and published infographic, toddlers love them some touch screen:

In summary, as long as we keep our little kiddlings engaged in other activities throughout the day, talk to them more than we tweet them, and make sure they see the light of day*, I think we’ll all survive. (*Just don’t ask me if you should use sunscreen).

Now say three Hail Mommies and check out Peppa Pig's Party Time App

Pip pip, Cheerio!

Question for my reader(s): What article(s) have you found most helpful/entertaining/depressing on the topic of kids & technology? Please share in the comments section or tweet @DearAnnAbler


  1. This is one of my favourite ann abler answers! Heads up - fruit coming your way...

  2. Thank you! Skills of tomorrow!