Is it possible to OD on FB?

Dear Ann,
 

Is it just me, or are there one too many obligatory social networks? I feel aimless in my frenzied clicking, unfulfilled by online “friend”-ships, and spread so thin I might be wasting away. Is it possible to OD on social media? 

~ Tweeter McPinstagram

Dear Tweeter,

I think you have hit upon something that many of us feel, but don’t always express; except by pinning or retweeting a meme about it. 

We yearn to belong and be loved, to share and to connect. However, spending time on social media can sometimes make you feel like a lab rat insanely smacking at a lever for one more food pellet. Must. Keep. Clicking.

This tweet from @SkinnieTalls explains how social media can be a bit of a mixed bag:

But while it’s not super probable that you’ll OD on SM, it is possible to become this:
 

And – given that we have islands of trash piling up in our oceans and can’t say no to McAnything – we are probably just a few tiny baby steps from this:

http://stenningfamilynews.blogspot.com

 
It is important to ask ourselves questions like yours, and also questions like: 

• Is there such a thing as too much technology? 
• Are we on a downward spiral as a species? 
• Will a modern-day scurvy wipe out our Google Glass Explorers? 
• When we look at our children’s faces, are we looking for the “pin it” button? 

  

  Do I have something on my forehead?

• If we’re plugged in all the time, when do we stop being people and start being robots? 
• Why can’t we focus all our technological efforts on time travel so we can impress kids with our skateboarding skills and go to our parents' Enchantment Under the Sea dance? 
• Or (a question that alternately causes me relief or terror – depending on my mood) are we already robots…just a series of electrical impulses…a combination of 0s and 1s? 

I don’t have the answers to these questions, so let's just hope that people share their thoughts in the comments section. 

What I can say is that unless you’re prepared to go Full Amish, you’ll need to maintain some level of engagement with technology and social media. So why not enjoy the process, and see how it all goes down? 

Maybe we'll go the way of the boneless baby-bodied humans in Wall-E. Perhaps our consciousness will be transferred to The Cloud like in that movie no one saw. Or maybe we'll get sucked into the screen by a Pinterest poltergeist as we attempt to pin a color palette. Let's just lean in. Instead of turn on, tune in, drop out, how about a more appropriate motto for this millennium like spread out and veg out? Let’s go full circle and see if we can bring on the devolution of the species. Maybe then we can start from scratch. Have a re-do. A do over. Cue Circle of Life.

This would be a great time to...

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Virtually,

Your Ann Abler

 

Tight on Time? Multi-Task Like a Mutha

Dear Ann Abler,

Photo via +Engadget of +Portlandia (http://bit.ly/Technology-Loop)

I feel like time is not on my side. Kids are crawling all over me and I hardly have a second for myself. When I finally do have a moment alone, I’m so scatterbrained that all I can do is retweet, like, or pin things.

#SendHelp
#SOS
#mombrain,

Hashtag Hannah

 

Dear #,

Not this cat/cow (image via +TechTarget)

Breathe. Breathe again. Back away from the screen. Wait – not yet – read these words of wisdom first. Breathe in and out again, maybe do a couple cat/cows, and then have a seat with me. 

First off, commit to whatever it is you’re doing in the moment. Unless it’s listening to your 7-year-old recite a really long Christmas wish list. In August. Something like that could really go on forever, and as you’ve made clear, you barely have a moment to yourself, let alone a “forever.” I know most parenting professionals say give your children 100% of your attention whenever possible, but does anyone really give 100% of their attention to anything, except maybe a sneeze or an orgasm?

Whoever said “live in the now,” maybe didn’t realize there are 17 things going on in the now. Multi-tasking is a must, and it is possible to love your children AND pay partial attention to them, all while chewing gum. You can employ this “adore/ignore” technique and unleash your social media spasms amidst the surrounding chaos of said children.

Most Mommybloggers' Default Screenview

While little Layla is doing her 27^th handstand saying “look at me,” you can pin some groovy color palettes on Pinterest or retweet the latest injustice. You paid attention all the way through handstand #26; you’ve earned your ignore points. Or if you’re gonna plop down tiny Timmy in front of some Tutitu, try a split screen and start checking the stats on your blog. I only assume you have a blog because you’re a mom, and that’s pretty much standard protocol these days. (Or if not, then I imagine you at least have a decent Facebook or Twitter presence. If not, are you reading this post on parchment paper?). But I digress.

Getting back to your question, the lesson to be learned here is that if you employ my patented sub-par parenting approach, then you can use your truly alone time for more focused activity, whether it be reading, writing, exercising, or whatever you can squeeze in those few precious moments.

As this post does not require your full attention, I hope you are reading it while telling your children, “excellent handstand, honey!” or “put that knife down, Timmy.” You might actually want to investigate that last one further.

Sub-par is better than no-par,

Your Ann Abler