Friday, May 23, 2014

Penitence for Play Land

Dear Ann Abler,

I know they underpay their workers and make foodstuff that is more stuff than food, but the kids have so much fun in the McDonald’s Playplace, that I sometimes climb down from my moral high horse and head on over. I confess that while they’re safe in the winding tubes of that wonderland, I pretend I’m alone while I consume my coffee. Can you absolve me so that my conscience is cleared and I can continue to indulge in this practice?

I’m lovin it

Dear Lovin It,

If Justin Timberlake associated himself with the masters of the McRib, how bad can it be? He is America’s golden boy whose abundance of charm inoculates him against criticism, and we must not question his choices. While you’re right about their low-paying practices, and calories from questionable content, the question at hand is how to sustain your sanity for one more day.

If Justin Timberlake associated himself with the masters of the McRib, how bad can it be?

17 Foul Ingredients AND free coupons? Score!
Having little ones is hard, as every parent (and parenting blog) will tell you. Parenting can slowly strip you of a sense of self, if you don’t take a moment now and then to breathe deeply and think your own thoughts. Yes, being a parent can provide you with deep personal discoveries, wonder, joy, and growth, but it can also stress you out and suck your brain dry. So I say pick your battles and take on the corporate giant tomorrow. You deserve a break today! 

To lighten your load and purge that pesky guilt, you can shower the McEmployees with gifts. If that surpasses your penitence price point, then bring them some employment applications from Starbucks. I believe Starbucks gives benefits if you work 20+ hours a week, and I imagine you get to be jacked up on the java juice for most of that time. 

If you want to just sort of stick it to the McMan, then fill your kids up with a healthy breakfast and only order the coffee for yourself. Now say 4 Hail Mommies and have it your way.

~ Your Ann Abler
p.s. Colbert explains it all much better

No comments :

Post a Comment